The 2013 Christmas eve traditional family celebration is growing near. The excitement of decorating the tree, having everyone under the same roof, singing dominic the donkey, smelling the fishes, playing tombola (Italian Bingo) and everyone screaming because nobody could hear which number was called, sharing childhood stories, eating butterballs and pizzellas...........panettone, laughing about how Papa fell off the wall chasing Ricardo and ripping his toenails off on the way down, and more just around the corner.
Carmen and myself, Papa, mama and Phil (my mother pronounces Phil-feel), Roberto and Ed (mom pronounces Ed-head) , Alli, and Shanna, Mary and Tammy- (Lesbos), Trevon, Christina and the girls....Susan and Italia, oh and Adam. These are usually the main characters on our Christmas eve. The party is usually larger with the additional guests brought by my siblings families and friends.
This year, Roberto and Head decided to spend Christmas with brother, Ricardo in Florida. Bummer. Alli decided to spend Christmas with wife, Shanna, in the Keys. WTH. They just purchased a new winter home there. Adam, partner of my daughter, Christina, decides to want to take my 3 girls to Florida for the Christmas holiday. (I'm hoping his toenails fall off)
Here comes the turmoil. I am here in RI with my father. There is nobody else here. How can I leave him alone. My mother is alone in Boston with Feel. How can I leave her alone. How will I make this miracle holiday flow.
After much contention, Christina decides that she is, in fact, going to spend Christmas in Florida with Adam and the children. I send her a text asking her if it is bad that I wish Adam's toenail would fall off. No answer. I shoot another text saying, "oh, I guess so". Lol never got a return text. :)
My thoughts began to overwhelm me as I couldn't think of any reason she should remain here in RI with me and the rest of the family besides my agonizing heart. I began to think of evil ways to prevent her from driving away, including letting the air out of the tires. Carmen wanted me to slash them. LOL. Maybe a fake heart attack.....no good, then my parents would worry. After much thought, I realized she was not going to come to her senses and in fact was going to Florida.
Christina begins to feel some sadness about leaving all the in laws and family behind. Yes, all the grandparents. She decides to have a grandparents pre-Christmas party. Of course, I will attend, Christina. The dinner went fabulously, the courses kept coming out one by one for over two hours. The time they must have spent to cook all of this food and prepare the house for so many grandparents.
I decided to sit with my granddaughters and play with the drums and other various instruments. Despite Christina's many pleas for me to stop encouraging the children to make so much noise, I continue to smash on my drum. Is this passive aggressiveness? LOL again. Five sets of grandparents sitting and digesting their wonderful meals while attempting to have conversation........whatever! "mom, stop it". hehe. MOM! mom. What? STOP IT! The drums continue. I have now recruited another grandmother to sing Christmas carols and make more noise. Now I am exempt from being yelled at. hehe. We made a fabulous video of our version of Rudolph the red nose reindeer with a lot of loud instruments. Christina's face was priceless and she was paralyzed. With the additional grandparent/band member, I was safe from her wrath.
Christina's dinner was a success and the night ended with sadness because they were leaving the following morning to spend the holiday in Florida.
What else can I do but move forward. I make plans to bring Carmen, myself, and my father to my mother's house in Boston to have our traditional fish dinner of Shrimp cocktail, bacala salad, fried smelts, stuffed calamari, you name it. Surprise!! My neice, Brianna, is also familyless for Christmas. She will join us in Boston.
I have made a conscious decision to not bother Christina with my sadness due to her absence. I have also decided not to answer her calls when she agonizes over missing me.
Conscious decision number one fails, as I decide to create a special Christmas video for Christina. The video was of me prancing back and forth through my living room with a bottle of vodka, watching a beautiful vhs tape containing all the music and family photos I made for her 21st birthday. You can see and hear me foolishly sobbing as I come in and out of her special video. I was shaking bells and holding various Christmas decorations, but never letting go of the bottle of vodka and also shrieking cries of my sadness randomly. I shared my new video on her facebook page. It was apparently a hit to everyone who viewed it.
Decision number 2 fails, as she doesn't miss me nearly as much as I miss her. Her calls are limited, but her photos in the sun are flowing.
Christmas eve had come and gone. Our dinner was dinner. We talked about Obama, how much he is ruining the world, how medicare is killing the seniors, how the "Niggers" are infiltrating the Nordic lodge restaurant (ooops, "negros"), welfare, taxes, "crummy bastard democrats" and every other insane and negative topic we could find. It is not okay to call people niggers. Yes, this racial terminology is a generational thing, I agree, but still not something I or my black/hispanic wife sitting next to me needs to be exposed to. We still love you, but you need to grow a filter over that mouth.
I truly wanted to just talk about how you, papa, fell from the wall and tore off your toenails. I wanted to laugh about how many wood spoons you smashed on our heads when we were growing up. I wanted to drink a bit too much so that Roberto and I could irritate my mother and hear her say, "ot your age" this is her pronunciation of act. Maybe the conversation would have been better if I were not outnumbered by senior citizens. You see, I need my siblings during the holidays to remind my parents that these crazy things really did occur. I did not imagine my childhood.
Needless to say, my Christmas eve was a success, as I got to spend it with my two loving parents, who could not decide whether it was my wrist or my shoulder that was pulled out of the socket when I was younger. Was it my mother, who "yanked my shoulder" and caused the urgent care visit, or was it simply, "she was born with a bad wrist" you don't know what you're talking about. That argument went on for at least 45 minutes never resolving anything or knowing the actual truth.
Well, mom, I forgive you if you yanked my arm out of the socket. LOL. After all, If I was, in fact, 5 years old, that means there were already 5 of us that you had to keep track of.
Now, getting to Christmas day. Plans to remain at home and wallow in my own self pity were sidetracked when mom decided she would like my company. Carmen and I decide to drive back to Boston to spend Christmas day viewing Nativity scenes around the churches with Mom and Feel.
On my way to Boston, a song comes on the radio. "I'll have a blue Christmas". Carmen, get the camera rolling. It is time to make Christina a new video. Roll em. A new video is posted on Christina's facebook page of her mom driving in the car and singing and fake crying to the blue christmas song. Another hilarious success. I wonder if Christina really enjoyed my videos, or simply had to hit "like" to make them acceptable on her page. Either way, it was about me.
Long story longer............in my attempt to deal with my family's absence during the Christmas season, I used humor, and appreciation as my main ingredients. I laughed at my own silly sadness. I appreciated the present company of my two parents, Feel, my neice-Briana, and Carmen.
Mary and Tammy? typical Italian family. That would be an entirely different chapter.
I couldn't help but think about the people out there that have nobody.
Oh, Adam, I forgot to tell you what happened to Adam. can I just LOL one more time....no this is definitely a LMFAO moment. Well, Adam was apparently stung by a Portuguese man o war while spending time at the beach. Though I consider myself to be a Christian woman, the news that he was stung.....but OK, brought me to pee my pants. The more information I got, where it stung, his reaction to the sting, the pain, the fact that nobody else was stung, his reaction to anyone laughing at him, his belief that he would most likely die, his remaining in the hotel room, the fact that the man o war was already dead, well................I just laughed all the more. My apologies, Adam, for enjoying your sting moment. Get well soon. So you can drive my girls back home where they belong with mommy. Nobody ever told Adam that you never touch the tentacles on any type of ocean creature. LMAO. Hey, at least his toe nail didn't fall off.
I am blessed to have faith, family, humor, and KARMA
Kind Regards,
Suzy Q
